Not many kids have a ditch running through their back yard as a means of entertainment. So on those hot summer days when all three television channels were fuzzy, we would while away our afternoons playing in the ditch.
The ditch is a result of pipe system that routes water from Christmas Hollow to the pens at the house. The ditch begins in the pens at the house via an artesian well. The water flows through the pens and the backyard, through a field and Grandmom's yard and ends back into the river north of Grandmom's house.
The depth of the ditch in the backyard is about 2 to 2-1/2 feet with a concrete bank barrier put there by Daddy. The concrete barrier has grooves at various intervals so that a metal shield can slide into the grooves and flood the yard as means of watering the grass. Daddy also placed a very wide rock across the ditch we used a bridge to get from the yard to what we called the "holding pen".
The ditch was a nice alternative to getting wet while waiting impatiently waiting for an adult to take us to the river. The bridge was used as a hang-out for Barbie and her girlfriends. They could lounge in the sun and gossip about Ken and the guys. When it got hot, they could dive off the bridge and cool off in the water. Of course, Ken and the guys would have to jump in to show off for the girls. Marshall would bring his Tonka trucks out and we would build roads around the bridge and build a make-believe town for Barbie and friends. For the record, he did NOT like the Barbie part!!!
One morning, Mama looked out her bathroom window and hollered for us to get the paper floating in the ditch. At the same time, she was reminding us that we knew better than to have any kind of trash in or around the ditch. We busted out the back door as quick as we could to get the trash out of the ditch. Joke was on Mama! It was baby ducks swimming in the ditch! She hadn't put in her contacts and could only see fuzzy images! :)
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
Sunday, December 29, 2013
Television Reception
My family started out as "townies" and then moved to the country when I was almost 9 years old. In town we had television reception that offered a clear picture and more than three channels. Upon moving to the country, our TV set served as a dust collector sitting in the den. We lived in a valley where absolutely no air waves could reach us. It didn't take long for us to give up trying to watch cartoons on Saturday mornings.
Daddy, with the help of a local TV man, rigged up an antennae on the south side of the house. It was one of those antennae shaped like a metal refrigerator rack. We parked our butts in front of our beloved television set complete with a dusty screen and prepared to be entertained by the wonders of TV land. Like magic we had an image of.....something fuzzy. Adjustments needed to be made. We formed a relay team with Daddy moving the antennae, Marshall watching the screen and me telling Dennis which way to turn the antennae. Every once in a while we would get a clear picture on one of three channels. And it was usually something like golf. We had better luck in the cold season to get a clear picture. Mama and I actually watched the television premier of "Gone with the Wind" with Daddy on stand-by to adjust the antennae during commercials.
And now we have hundreds of channels to pick from with the help of satellites and modern technology. The images are clear enough to think the action is actually taking place in the room in which you are watching television. I should be ashamed of myself when I think, "Dang. There isn't anything on TV this evening." And then I come across a rerun of "Let's Make a Deal" or "The Price is Right" and think, "Hmm. I don't believe I've seen this episode. It must have been one of those I missed because I couldn't endure a fuzzy image of Monty or Bob." :)
Daddy, with the help of a local TV man, rigged up an antennae on the south side of the house. It was one of those antennae shaped like a metal refrigerator rack. We parked our butts in front of our beloved television set complete with a dusty screen and prepared to be entertained by the wonders of TV land. Like magic we had an image of.....something fuzzy. Adjustments needed to be made. We formed a relay team with Daddy moving the antennae, Marshall watching the screen and me telling Dennis which way to turn the antennae. Every once in a while we would get a clear picture on one of three channels. And it was usually something like golf. We had better luck in the cold season to get a clear picture. Mama and I actually watched the television premier of "Gone with the Wind" with Daddy on stand-by to adjust the antennae during commercials.
And now we have hundreds of channels to pick from with the help of satellites and modern technology. The images are clear enough to think the action is actually taking place in the room in which you are watching television. I should be ashamed of myself when I think, "Dang. There isn't anything on TV this evening." And then I come across a rerun of "Let's Make a Deal" or "The Price is Right" and think, "Hmm. I don't believe I've seen this episode. It must have been one of those I missed because I couldn't endure a fuzzy image of Monty or Bob." :)
Saturday, December 28, 2013
When Robin Met Sam
I did not know who Sam Jetton was the first time I was in the same room with him. We were both attending a coaches meeting for youth basketball. I had recently broken my ankle and was still wearing a cast. The first words out of Sam's mouth were, "How do you expect to teach the kids basketball skills with a cast on your foot?" Really? I whirled around to spit venom at the man but was told by my friend, Amy, to just let it go because we didn't enough time in the day for Sam and Robin to go at it. In other words, neither one of us would have backed down. I did not have a good first impression of Sam.
A couple of years later I was working for an attorney in our small town. Sam waltzed into the office to meet with the attorney. Come to find out, Sam's wife (now ex) had filed for divorce. I kind of felt a little sorry for him until he strutted down the hall like a banty rooster. Oh, what an arrogant man! And for a short man he has a big ego and makes his presence known. As fate would have it, the attorney passed off proofreading the divorce decree (72 pages) to me and checking in with Sam for his feedback. After the divorce was final, Sam took me and a co-worker out to dinner as a way to show his appreciation for helping him out. And the rest is history.
We have had our fair share of bumps in the road during our eleven years together. Living with Sam isn't the easiest thing I have ever done but it certainly makes for good entertainment. Our bantering makes most people uncomfortable but it is who we are. Sam still gets the best of me for the most part. Every once in a while I get the last word if you consider a sigh or snort a word. Mike's friend, Ivan, says he would worry about us if Sam and I didn't "go at each other".
I still think Sam is the most arrogant, egotistical son of a bitch I've ever known and he considers it to be a compliment. Honestly! I told him that one day and he smiled and said, "Thank you!" Oh, what fun this adventure will continue to be! :)
A couple of years later I was working for an attorney in our small town. Sam waltzed into the office to meet with the attorney. Come to find out, Sam's wife (now ex) had filed for divorce. I kind of felt a little sorry for him until he strutted down the hall like a banty rooster. Oh, what an arrogant man! And for a short man he has a big ego and makes his presence known. As fate would have it, the attorney passed off proofreading the divorce decree (72 pages) to me and checking in with Sam for his feedback. After the divorce was final, Sam took me and a co-worker out to dinner as a way to show his appreciation for helping him out. And the rest is history.
We have had our fair share of bumps in the road during our eleven years together. Living with Sam isn't the easiest thing I have ever done but it certainly makes for good entertainment. Our bantering makes most people uncomfortable but it is who we are. Sam still gets the best of me for the most part. Every once in a while I get the last word if you consider a sigh or snort a word. Mike's friend, Ivan, says he would worry about us if Sam and I didn't "go at each other".
I still think Sam is the most arrogant, egotistical son of a bitch I've ever known and he considers it to be a compliment. Honestly! I told him that one day and he smiled and said, "Thank you!" Oh, what fun this adventure will continue to be! :)
Friday, December 27, 2013
Blue Shag Carpet
Christmas decorations are repacked in their appropriate tubs and boxes until next year. I enjoy decorating for the holidays but after a month I have to reorganize the house with the usual "clutter".
Speaking of the house.....we have the UGLIEST blue shag carpet in the living room. Not to mention it belongs in the 1980s which is when it was originally installed.
I've been making comments about the carpet for quite a while. You know, subtle hints such as: "This carpet is really, um, icky." "Look at all the dirt and grit I vacuum out of this stuff every time I clean." "I guess I should try to shampoo the carpet but I know it will be a waste of time." "Old Dude, its time to seriously think about getting new carpet." "Dang it! I'm tired of stepping on grass stickers that get ground into the carpet." Ok, that last complaint really doesn't have anything to do the UGLIEST blue shag carpet in the world. All complaints about the UGLIEST blue shag carpet in the world have fallen upon deaf ears. Or so I thought...
On Christmas morning I opened one of my gifts which included an envelope containing money, a piece of the UGLIEST brown industrial carpet I have ever seen and a note signed by Sam, Kris, Mike and Shan. The note reads as follows:
"We knew you NEEDED new carpet in the living room. It is so hard trying
to get the right style and color. With Kris' help we came up with this. {The
sample of brown carpet.} Hope you like it!"
Well played, peeps, well played. They laughed when they saw me curl my lip when I saw the sample they picked out which was cut from a piece of carpet at the hunter's cabin. Sam went so far as to tell me he had already pre-ordered said carpet. Joke was on me! Ladies and gentlemen, there is no way I am going to allow UGLY brown industrial carpet in this living room and they both knew it.
I am looking forward to replacing the UGLIEST blue shag carpet in the world with new, pretty, clean carpet that won't spit grass burrs at my bare feet. Looks like the blue swag window treatments will have to be replaced, too. Shucks. Darn. :)
Speaking of the house.....we have the UGLIEST blue shag carpet in the living room. Not to mention it belongs in the 1980s which is when it was originally installed.
I've been making comments about the carpet for quite a while. You know, subtle hints such as: "This carpet is really, um, icky." "Look at all the dirt and grit I vacuum out of this stuff every time I clean." "I guess I should try to shampoo the carpet but I know it will be a waste of time." "Old Dude, its time to seriously think about getting new carpet." "Dang it! I'm tired of stepping on grass stickers that get ground into the carpet." Ok, that last complaint really doesn't have anything to do the UGLIEST blue shag carpet in the world. All complaints about the UGLIEST blue shag carpet in the world have fallen upon deaf ears. Or so I thought...
On Christmas morning I opened one of my gifts which included an envelope containing money, a piece of the UGLIEST brown industrial carpet I have ever seen and a note signed by Sam, Kris, Mike and Shan. The note reads as follows:
"We knew you NEEDED new carpet in the living room. It is so hard trying
to get the right style and color. With Kris' help we came up with this. {The
sample of brown carpet.} Hope you like it!"
Well played, peeps, well played. They laughed when they saw me curl my lip when I saw the sample they picked out which was cut from a piece of carpet at the hunter's cabin. Sam went so far as to tell me he had already pre-ordered said carpet. Joke was on me! Ladies and gentlemen, there is no way I am going to allow UGLY brown industrial carpet in this living room and they both knew it.
I am looking forward to replacing the UGLIEST blue shag carpet in the world with new, pretty, clean carpet that won't spit grass burrs at my bare feet. Looks like the blue swag window treatments will have to be replaced, too. Shucks. Darn. :)
Wednesday, December 25, 2013
Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas from all of us at the Jetton Slave Ranch!
Here's how the Chinese Christmas went down at Mama and Gary's house yesterday:
1. Kyle. His gift was a peacock design jewelry box.
2. Mama. She took away the jewelry box. Kyle opened a scarf and blanket gift.
3. Gary. He let Kyle keep the scarf and blanket and ended up with a flashlight which he insisted was very dim and the batteries only lasted for 15 minutes. In other words, "leave my flashlight alone"!
4. Kristin. Her package included a scarf and bath/body goods.
5. Kelli. She took away the scarf and blanket from Kyle. Kyle next chose a gift, alas!, of TWO scarves!
6. Mike. His gift was a fire-proof storage box.
7. Robin. I took away the scarves from Kyle. Only one gift left in the pile and Kyle takes it instead of taking away a gift from any of us. Guess what? He ended up with a $25 gift card from Bass Pro Shop!!
Sam was en route from San Antonio while we were partaking of holiday festivities in Segovia. Sam busted ET out of the San Antonio hospital and admitted him to our local hospital for better care until he regains his strength and can go home.
May each of you have a day filled with love, laughter and warm fuzzies! Don't forget the reason for the season while opening gifts and indulging in good food. Happy Birthday, Jesus! :)
Here's how the Chinese Christmas went down at Mama and Gary's house yesterday:
1. Kyle. His gift was a peacock design jewelry box.
2. Mama. She took away the jewelry box. Kyle opened a scarf and blanket gift.
3. Gary. He let Kyle keep the scarf and blanket and ended up with a flashlight which he insisted was very dim and the batteries only lasted for 15 minutes. In other words, "leave my flashlight alone"!
4. Kristin. Her package included a scarf and bath/body goods.
5. Kelli. She took away the scarf and blanket from Kyle. Kyle next chose a gift, alas!, of TWO scarves!
6. Mike. His gift was a fire-proof storage box.
7. Robin. I took away the scarves from Kyle. Only one gift left in the pile and Kyle takes it instead of taking away a gift from any of us. Guess what? He ended up with a $25 gift card from Bass Pro Shop!!
Sam was en route from San Antonio while we were partaking of holiday festivities in Segovia. Sam busted ET out of the San Antonio hospital and admitted him to our local hospital for better care until he regains his strength and can go home.
May each of you have a day filled with love, laughter and warm fuzzies! Don't forget the reason for the season while opening gifts and indulging in good food. Happy Birthday, Jesus! :)
Tuesday, December 24, 2013
Surprise Visitors
We don't get many visitors at the end of our dirt road. Friends and family usually call ahead to make sure we are home before making the trek to the Jetton Slave Ranch. Surprise visitors are usually lost because they missed the turn to the subdivision. I seem to be by myself at the house when surprise visitors show up at the ranch headquarters.
Jehovah's Witness representatives have paid more than one visit to the ranch. Heck of a drive to deliver the Watch Tower. I am going to leave this one alone.....
The game warden once showed up and he was not wearing his happy face. He had gotten a call from the subdivision in reference to a dead turkey along the fence line. Mr. Game Warden was adamant that the incident happened along our fence line and ran me through the gauntlet. (He never actually accused me of poaching on the neighbor's property.) I answered his questions but he wasn't liking my answers. Without trying to sound like a smart a$$, I finally told Mr. Game Warden, "Sir, why would I poach for a turkey when I have over 4,000 acres over here to shoot a turkey?"
I once had a dude on a motorcycle roar up in front of the house. Said he was looking for the Jackson Ranch. Jackson Ranch is another subdivision which is several miles south of us. He clearly didn't see the "JETTON SLAVE RANCH" sign at our bump gate.
Speaking of motorcycles, a group of young men on motor bikes turned around in our parking area. Maybe they were joy riding? Maybe they were lost? Maybe they were intimidated by a woman standing on the porch holding a 12-gauge shotgun?
You might want to give us a call first if you want to come out and visit. There are twists and turns and cattle guards and bump gates along the way but you will know you've come to the right place if you end up at the end of a dirt road. :)
Jehovah's Witness representatives have paid more than one visit to the ranch. Heck of a drive to deliver the Watch Tower. I am going to leave this one alone.....
The game warden once showed up and he was not wearing his happy face. He had gotten a call from the subdivision in reference to a dead turkey along the fence line. Mr. Game Warden was adamant that the incident happened along our fence line and ran me through the gauntlet. (He never actually accused me of poaching on the neighbor's property.) I answered his questions but he wasn't liking my answers. Without trying to sound like a smart a$$, I finally told Mr. Game Warden, "Sir, why would I poach for a turkey when I have over 4,000 acres over here to shoot a turkey?"
I once had a dude on a motorcycle roar up in front of the house. Said he was looking for the Jackson Ranch. Jackson Ranch is another subdivision which is several miles south of us. He clearly didn't see the "JETTON SLAVE RANCH" sign at our bump gate.
Speaking of motorcycles, a group of young men on motor bikes turned around in our parking area. Maybe they were joy riding? Maybe they were lost? Maybe they were intimidated by a woman standing on the porch holding a 12-gauge shotgun?
You might want to give us a call first if you want to come out and visit. There are twists and turns and cattle guards and bump gates along the way but you will know you've come to the right place if you end up at the end of a dirt road. :)
Monday, December 23, 2013
The Movies
The Texan Theater was the only source of entertainment in our small town during my high school years. Most of my peers were traveling to the neighboring town to indulge in dancing, dining and having more than one movie to pick from at the theaters. Mama wasn't comfortable with allowing me to go out of town on Saturday nights {there are too many things that can go wrong} so I was usually on babysitting duty.
Kelli and I were regulars at the Texan on Saturday nights. Armed with sugar goods, we would take our seats and wait for the magic to begin on the movie screen. We both cried when we watched "The Fox and The Hound". "Flashdance" was so good that we convinced Mama to go with us again on Sunday night. Kelli connected with Drew Barrymore's character in "ET" and wore out the line "ET phone home." "Indiana Jones and The Raiders of the Lost Ark", "Fast Times at Ridgemont High", "Tootsie", "Caddyshack", "Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back", "Airplane"; we loved them all.
Kelli was five and then six when we went through a series of scary movies beginning with "The Shining". Next in the line of creepy movies was "The Fog", "Friday the 13th", "Halloween and Halloween II"..... and the one that scared the poop out of both of us was "Nightmare on Elm Street". We just knew Freddy Kruger was waiting for us in our dreams. I decided I had better stop with the scary movies for fear that I had scarred my poor little sister for life. Okay, I admit I was a little spooked as well.
"Gremlins" and "Ghostbusters" were on the mild side of scary of the movie spectrum. As a matter of fact, six-year old Kelli said, "Ghostbusters is the lamest scary movie I have ever seen. A giant marshmellow man? Really?"
The Texan Theater has been closed for several years. I drive by it several times a day and every once a while I will glance over at it and remember the smell of popcorn and hot dogs in the lobby and a little blond-haired, blue-eyed Kelli who was my movie date and always a good sport no matter what kind of movies we watched. :)
Kelli and I were regulars at the Texan on Saturday nights. Armed with sugar goods, we would take our seats and wait for the magic to begin on the movie screen. We both cried when we watched "The Fox and The Hound". "Flashdance" was so good that we convinced Mama to go with us again on Sunday night. Kelli connected with Drew Barrymore's character in "ET" and wore out the line "ET phone home." "Indiana Jones and The Raiders of the Lost Ark", "Fast Times at Ridgemont High", "Tootsie", "Caddyshack", "Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back", "Airplane"; we loved them all.
Kelli was five and then six when we went through a series of scary movies beginning with "The Shining". Next in the line of creepy movies was "The Fog", "Friday the 13th", "Halloween and Halloween II"..... and the one that scared the poop out of both of us was "Nightmare on Elm Street". We just knew Freddy Kruger was waiting for us in our dreams. I decided I had better stop with the scary movies for fear that I had scarred my poor little sister for life. Okay, I admit I was a little spooked as well.
"Gremlins" and "Ghostbusters" were on the mild side of scary of the movie spectrum. As a matter of fact, six-year old Kelli said, "Ghostbusters is the lamest scary movie I have ever seen. A giant marshmellow man? Really?"
The Texan Theater has been closed for several years. I drive by it several times a day and every once a while I will glance over at it and remember the smell of popcorn and hot dogs in the lobby and a little blond-haired, blue-eyed Kelli who was my movie date and always a good sport no matter what kind of movies we watched. :)
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